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In the past newsletters, we discussed the first 4 of the 5 most common communications mistakes:
- Case Building is the first choice we are faced with in communication. It is deciding whether we want to build a case against somebody by gathering evidence to be used against them Authentic Luca Sbisa Jersey , or whether we want to build a connection with them.
- Story Telling is when we tell ourselves a story about an observation -- and then believe it. Somebody glances at us in a restaurant and we decide that they are being critical of us and then we base our behavior on that assumption.
- The third mistake, Message Assuming, is assuming that the person we are talking to actually understand our message in the way that we intended. Or that we understood theirs.
- Cup Stuffing is trying to get somebody to listen to you when they are already feeling overwhelmed - they are in need of empathy before they can listen.
Today we will look at the 5th mistake: The Fatal Fs. The Fatal Fs are fixing, fighting and fleeing. They are a natural progression in the way we normally handle difficult situations.
Every day at your job you are paid and valued by the problems you can solve... and yet, once you go home Authentic Oscar Dansk Jersey , solving problems can be a very dangerous thing as far as your relationships are concerned.
For example, your partner comes home from work and tells you about how her boss, once again, changed her job description to include more duties.
She didn't argue this with the boss, but came home to complain about it to you. What do you do?
Well Authentic Oscar Lindberg Jersey , the normal reaction would be to offer advice to help her fix the problem. Of course you can see that what needs to be done here. It's obvious to you...
So you tell her to "Just say no.... Tell the boss politely, but firmly you are not going to do it."