About the Project » I haven't written to

I haven't written to you for so long, I won't blame me! I haven't forgotten the agreement between us to communicate from time to time. You occupy an important position in my mind. When time and energy allow, I will know everything. Tell you everything around me, I am very busy, busy with illness, busy with the small shops that have just been built to get sick. That day I sent a message telling you that I was ill, without any cover Cigarette Kinds. Well, I am sick. Something that has accumulated in my heart for a long time has ruined my weak will. When the doctor told me that I was moderately depressed and anxious, I was very calm and not ashamed. Dear, you know why I am sick. I can't figure out a lot of questions, and I'm entangled in those problems, such as why life can't be taken seriously? Why do I have to bear so much pressure on my own? Why do fathers use the same words for decades to stimulate my sensitivity? The heart?... In the past two years, I have lived a life that ordinary people can't stand. The outsiders pretend that they have a good life. The heart is really painful. You can say that you have to say that you have to look at it Cigarette Tobacco For Sale Online. Is it? Yes, these words are what I said, it��s easy to say, but it��s hard to do. I can forgive many people and things, but I can't forgive myself. I forgive those who hurt me deeply, forgive my friends for betrayal of me, forgive my old father for teaching me for decades, but I can��t forgive why I can��t do what I know is wrong. When you plant it in one, you must wait until your head breaks through the bloodstream. In every pain Online Cigarettes Free Shipping, I think that someone can let me talk, can give me guidance Cartons Of Newports, but there is no such person around me. In the face of the psychiatrist that day, the doctor asked me a lot of questions. She said, you know that the fault is not in you, why should you put it in your heart? You can be a rogue, be an irresponsible person, and do everything. Take it to yourself, this is the root of your illness. Dear, in fact, I understand psychology myself. If the psychiatrist talks to me, I can comfort myself. But, you know, I just can't do it. I am alone in the sea, watching people of all colors every day, laughing and screaming, happy and sad, all kinds of atmosphere can not infect me, I swim in my own world, unable to extricate themselves. I know this is a terrible thing. The doctor asked me: Have you ever thought about suicide? Yes, think. I want to end the painful life in what way: taking medicine, cutting the wrist, jumping off the building, jumping into the sea... Dear, I didn't do it, I know I can't do it, I still have no responsibility, dear, no People know that I am sick. I am afraid that they will treat me with a different look. I usually look at my normal life. How can I have mental illness? I can work normally and have no problem with my ability to work. I can laugh and laugh. You see, I just can't release myself. Knowing that others will not remember what kind of problems they have, they are always afraid of others. Depression, a mental illness, spreads in the crowd in the form of an outbreak. It has to be acknowledged that in addition to its own factors, social environmental factors are a big incentive. You have, I want to have it, you don't have it, I don't want it. This social atmosphere is really bad. It is full of temptations of interest. I want to be independent and difficult! Dear Buy Cigarettes Wholesale, you know that I am not being benefited by any interest. In the same year, when you let me go with you, the insider said that my chance to turn over came, and I went with you, and then I was safe and ill. However, dear, I did not go with you, not because I have a confession to you, but because I want to have the same pace as you. I have been working hard to approach you, but I can't get close to you anyway. This is my biggest regret. Let's talk about taking care of the store. When I was extremely depressed, I told myself to distract myself and let myself jump out of the vortex. So, the plan I had been planning for a long time, I started the action. The whole process was handled by me alone. I run east and run every day, look at it, products, pictures, copywriting, operations... I never stay up late, I am sleeping in the middle of the morning. Before that, I knew it was hard. However, I can't stop. One is redemption, and the other is support. Since this time, although my depressed mood has eased, another distress has accompanied. Small business is not so good. Looking at the input-output ratio, calculating the cost of each day, the trepidation of the cliff wire is really difficult to describe in words. My mother looked at me every night and watched the computer every night. In the middle of the night, I replied to the guest information in a confused way. I blamed and said with distress: I said that doing business is not good! I am not good at answering my mother. My mother still does not know that I am sick. Of course, I will not understand why I am so hard to run a small store. I don't want to tell my mother, I don't want my mother to worry, saying so much is actually a person's self-salvation. I don't know how long I can stay in this disease. I don't know if this small business can achieve greater profitability. I only know that I can't give up. I can't be swallowed up by the reality of this chicken. Maybe, one day I can't keep going, but I work hard. In this self-respecting redemption, no one knows what kind of suffering is in my heart. No one understands how painful this suffering is. The doctor is responsible for treating the disease, the police are responsible for stability... Everyone in the world has a role in each person��s role. I don��t know what kind of person I am and what I should do. I am looking for the meaning and value of my existence. Will you look down on me? I will. I hate myself like this and despise myself. My pride and restraint in the past have disappeared in this situation. If you blame me, please don't say it, I will have a burden. If you comfort me, please don't say it, I will cry. I am so strong, how can the ugly side show it to you. Let me keep the last dignity so that you only remember how I used to laugh and love beauty. I will be fine. Although I can't get better now, I will finally put down the burden, let go of my obsession, and return to my original self. When you saw this letter, a large number of people also knew the contents of the letter. It doesn't matter. I can't see their expressions, and I don't want to guess what they think of me. The world is so big, I am so small, no one cares, no one cares, and I just want to write something lingering in silence. I think, you understand what I want to talk to you, and I also say something to myself: May you not be busy in silence.